"So I Sit"
By Stardust and Gunsmoke
And so I sit.
With myself.
Hat pulled low.
And I talk.
With myself.
My soul exposed.
Because when there’s no more noise
No music, no boys,
No prose and no praise,
Just my heart, in a maze,
Full of triumph and truth,
Equally gentle and uncouth,
I understand how love exists,
Spanning miles that turn to rifts.
And so I sit.
And I stare.
Taking in the neon glare.
And I sing.
Of my sins.
Those seen without and held within.
Of a life lived true by the gun,
Lessons on honor passed on to my son,
Of a heartache where words fall short,
And of a lifetime of death-tempting sport.
It’s unreasonable to think that a man,
Could find a companion that could understand,
Because when you’ve lived a life long as I,
Who could appreciate the scars that I hide?
And so I sit.
And my mind wanders.
To all the dreams I can’t help but to ponder.
And I cry.
But tears don’t attract.
Because deep inside there’s a dam that won’t crack.
And no matter how much my path twists back and forth,
My direction is firm, for I am my True North,
For the way that bends eastward and westward and back,
Is a journey worth having, that’s simply the fact.
So be it a campfire or a dim neon glow,
I sit here and listen, to none else but my soul.
For no mortal or god or oracle could see,
That I’ve always been on the right path, at least, for me.
And so I sit.
And I smile.
Learning how to admit I’m content for a while.
And I laugh.
For inside,
I am enough, and for what it’s worth, it’s been one hell of a ride.
And so I sit.
It’s okay.
Yes, tomorrow won’t fix all the troubles today.
But I laugh.
I can hear it.
Because I know that no hardship could outdo my spirit.
So I sit…
Stardust and Gunsmoke are pseudonyms for a state trooper and teacher in New England with prior military experience. Follow Stardust and Gunsmoke here.
This week on the Savage Wonder podcast…
Ava Aston is an award winning Independent Recording Artist. She is the wife of a U.S. Air Force Veteran and the daughter of a former Purple Heart National Service Officer.
Ava is a passionate supporter of U.S. Veterans, Active Duty Military, Fire, Police and First Responders, as well as animal and humanitarian causes.
Born and raised in upstate New York where she was classically trained, Ava draws from a broad range of influences from Frank Sinatra and Doris Day all the way to the Goo Goo Dolls. Ava's latest release along with all her other music is available on iTunes.
In addition to performances at the White House Christmas Celebration, the Grand Ole Opry, Ava has sung the national anthem for the New York Mets, Giants, Rangers, Knicks, New Jersey Devils, Los Angeles Lakers, and Nashville Predators.