So many nights I lie awake
thinking about the past
I have failed to let go.
Why must I continue to look back?
What purpose does it serve
to relive the horrors?
Will I ever heal from what you did
if I can never forgive myself?
I keep a watchful eye on aging times
forcing yesterday to the forefront
while I forget about today.
Regret is kept fresh in what was once
a youthful mind and the inability to forget
the hurt has only ensured
I will age before my time.
These wounds will not scab,
they will not heal and disappear
for I have been damaged from within
leaving me marked, forevermore
Lani Hankins is a former Army female engagement team member and a veteran of Afghanistan. Follow her here. Listen to the Savage Wonder episode with her here.
She blogs and podcasts at Kruse Corner.
Bunny: Poems About Surviving Military Life by Lani Hankins
Bottled Away: Confessions of a Struggling Veteran by Lani Hankins
The Gaslit Heart: A Story of Service and Survival by Lani Hankins
Eased Pain: Poems About Surviving Domestic Violence by Lani Hankins
What’s happening at VetRep…
Listen to our latest episode with Mitchel Coffman on the Savage Wonder Podcast, where we interview incredibly talented musicians, artists, writers, and theater professionals, who also happen to be veterans.
The parlor is back! Our first show of the season titled “Dunkirk…and Other Surprises” is a feature of seven veteran authored 10-minute plays. Join us for an evening of both drama and comedies, accompanied by dessert and a refreshing mocktail! Seating is limited and shows sell out fast, so get your tickets now and make sure you have a front-row seat with us on April 6th. Get your tickets here.