Oh I’m sorry Ukraine you wonder where the world went? Isn’t your war over yet? Forgive the American public and leaders their seeming rejection you see gas prices and inflation now have their attention along with hearings about what happened after Election Day the looming decision on Roe v. Wade the invective on “mass shootings” which if you live in a city, you know they happen often anyway You see, they’re not very comfortable with their hypocrisy while they are in favor of seeing you wage war and do harm they’re not quite so cool with this whole right to bear arms or really that familiar with cause and effect rather than confront the real problems they take the easy path of blaming the object so continue to fight the Russian invader once they’ve managed to disarm their own citizens they’ll check in with you later Meanwhile the rest of the world has also moved on to Trudeau’s beta-male fascism and Boris just trying to hold on and if you’re trying to get ahold of Putin ask Macron to call and check availability just be careful he doesn’t try to surrender your country by proxy Germany’s problems all taking place within their Pride marches attacked by “men of southern origin” The main event now is China and Taiwan with the world’s eyes off of Kiev and to Beijing now drawn you could visit the UN again and they’ll give you their sympathy you saw how that worked out for Hailie Selassie Oh, the Afghans I’ll remind you are ahead of you in line and still in sight at least those who served with them are trying to do what is right despite political expediency the 24 hour news cycle and 20 second sound byte So you see Ukraine your war has been great and stimulating, but now I’m sorry to say you’ve slipped in the ratings please hold on as long as you can and we’ll try to get you in somewhere between the real housewives and the Kardashians Enslavea Ukraini or whatever it is you say you know we Americans aren’t good with other languages anyway and should you fall be assured of our thoughts and prayers for you in heaven and we’ll make sure we memorialize you after the weather on the news at 11
Anthony Roberts is a veteran of Baltimore and Afghanistan. He currently lives in New Jersey in a home with beautiful views and interlocking fields of fire.
He is the author of Pigtown and The Clearing Barrel.
You can follow him here.
Want the best date night possible this Saturday night? Drinks, dessert, a hilarious live performance, professional actors, an intimate unforgettable space, pay-what-you-can tickets…it simply does not get better than this. So come on out and join us at our Parlor on Quaker Avenue for our staged reading of Ira Levin’s legendary Broadway comedy/thriller Deathtrap.
Don’t know Deathtrap? It was the winner of the 1978 Edgar Award for Best Play and record holder for the longest-running comedy thriller on Broadway. It’s about Sidney Bruhl - a successful Broadway playwright with writer’s block and a recent spate of box office failures. Desperate to break his dry-spell, Sidney finds hope in Clifford Anderson, a student in his seminar class who has submitted a thriller script, cleverly titled Deathtrap as well. Can Sidney convince Clifford to collaborate and give him co-credit? Or is there a way to cut Clifford out altogether and get sole credit?
As always, you’re welcome to show up and hope for a cancellation. But if you really want to see the show, why not book now and save yourself the uncertainty?
This week on the Savage Wonder podcast…
Anthony Torres is a writer, performer, and Executive Director of Combat Hippies, an ensemble of Puerto Rican military veteran performing artists based in Miami, Florida. A grandchild of Puerto Rican immigrants, Anthony was born in New York City and raised in Utica, New York. Following high school, he enlisted into the military and later deployed to Abu Ghraib Prison, Iraq where he provided mental health treatment to deployed troops, coalition forces, and Iraqi detainees. The Combat Hippies was founded in 2015 during a veterans creating writing workshop created by MDC Live Arts and led by renown theater artist and director Teo Castellanos. Their latest and most ambitious project, AMAL, premiered during MDC Live Arts 2018/19 season and is touring nationally. AMAL explores the quest for meaning, purpose, and identity sought through enlisting in the military and shares the unifying experiences of both combatants and noncombatants as people of color. This all-Puerto Rican theater company places Puerto Rico’s colonial status, cultural, and military heritage center stage. Anthony holds a MS in Psychology from Carlos Albizu University and a Master’s degree in Social Work from Barry University.
Follow Combat Hippies here.